Once Upon a Time…

 

It’s daunting to believe over 50% of marriages end in divorce. I am now part of the majority. However, mine is no ordinary divorce.

On September 20, 2008, we stood at the alter saying our vows. I didn’t just say them. I breathed the very essence of my soul into those vows. With each word I spoke deliberately and honestly, pledging my everlasting love to the man before me. In fact, I spoke so slowly that many commented how it seemed I was about to pass out.

After we were pronounced Man & Wife, I proudly boasted to the congregation, “I am Mrs. Treblig*”! And then my fairy tale began. However, little did I know it would turn out to be my worst nightmare.

I never imagined after 9 years together, nearly 7 as husband and wife, that I would learn how Richard* (AKA Dick) lived a completely separate life. A life full of deceit, lies, manipulation, and worst of all, infidelity. It happened.

Dick*, his mistress (whom I will call Cru*), and I all work together. In fact he began his affair about 6 weeks prior to my start date. So for almost a year, I worked with my cheating husband and his mistress (who is apparently married, with 2 children). The whole thing is entirely trashy, absolutely disgusting and beyond cruel. But, YES! It’s real. It happened.

I never imagined that I would be completely gutted like a fish and tossed out like I didn’t matter, just like trash. It happened.

During those dark days, I begged and pleaded with God. Laying in a ball on the floor of my bathroom (which sounds so cliché), I sobbed uncontrollably, asking that He just wake me from the nightmare. That really happened.

The lies are many. The deceit is disgusting. The level of infidelity is shocking. The lack of remorse for Dick’s actions is non-existent, telling me “it’s what was in his heart”. Believe it or not, aside from all the darkness of my story, I see there IS light.

On a weekly basis I meet at least one person who has a similar story; thus leading me to believe this is more of an epidemic than I could have ever realized.

As a society, we commonly talk about topics like infertility, birth, breastfeeding, miscarriages, but seemingly infidelity is too uncomfortable. However, this topic shouldn’t be off limits and it must be exposed. Sadly, 55% of divorces are due to infidelity (divorce.usa.com). These actions are NOT ok and shouldn’t be protected. Ultimately, I decided not to protect the people that chose to behave so terribly. I knew I had to share this experience to support all those who feel their voice is suppressed, don’t know what to do, or feel emotionally trapped. What I write is honest. It’s my reality. I’m not afraid to talk about it.

I have been asked many questions, like: How did you find out?, Do you still believe in marriage?, How did you go on with your life?, How did you face work each day (especially since we all work together BUT I never missed a day)?, Why didn’t you stay with him?, Why did you resort to divorce?, Would you take him back? and the list goes on.

I’m no expert but through my own experience and soul searching, many honest and kind people, and hours of research, I have decided to launch this blog.  It won’t be designed perfectly or as eye-catching as other blogs but that isn’t the point.

It is my hope that as my life changes direction and my self-empowerment is realized, I can help someone else who is in a compromising situation, or even questioning the darkness in their life, whatever that may be.

This entire saga may have cast a deep, dark shadow on my path (temporarily), but I am choosing to walk forward, out of that darkness, towards the bright light in front of me. I believe everything – even this unfortunate experience – has a meaning. Just wait, you’ll see. 😉

I invite you to follow my story and be part of my happy ending.

With all my heart,

Becky

(*In effort to protect the innocent, and unfortunately the guilty too, all names have been changed. Except mine.)